“I really just think of you as a little brother,” she said as the words echoed loudly through my head.
“I was just kidding,” I responded, but secretly that statement was the farthest thing from the truth. I had been secretly plotting my strategy to make her mine for the better part of two years of high school. I had sat and watched as her never-ending parade of boyfriends transverse through her life like a revolving door.
Each and every time I was her rock, her shoulder to cry on. I was there on the phone with here at three in the morning as she wept tears of sorrow, I was there carrying her home after a sloppy night of drinking at the bar and now here I was, the only man in her life who would never do anything to hurt her and I was being told in laments terms that I wasn’t worthy of her affection.
It had taken me almost two years to muster up the courage to tell her how I felt. And now here I was heart broken and depressed. Two years of my life were down the drain with nothing to show for it.
My immediate emotion was anger, followed by resentment coupled with sorrow. I felt socially awkward and insecure and the worst part of it all was I had no idea what I was doing wrong.
There are hundreds of thousands of men the world over who suffer from the exact same problem. Hopeless romantics who believe that honesty and sincerity will see them through to the end of the day and that chivalry still has a place in the heart of the one that they love.
It’s easy to understand why guys think this way. Think about any conversation that you’ve had with a close female friend of yours. It usually goes something like this, “I wish I could find a really nice guy who was different from all of the assholes that I meet on a regular basis. I wish he was kind and caring and honest and in general just loved me for who I am.” That guy she’s describing kind of sounds familiar doesn’t he? Of course he does, because that guy is you.
Right now you’re probably wondering to yourself, if I’m the guy of her dreams than why doesn’t she reciprocate the feelings that I have for her. The answer is quite simple, she lied!!!!
That’s right she whole-heartedly lied to you and you bought every word of it. Don’t worry, it wasn’t intentional. The problem is that there is a big disconnect between what women want and what they perceive they want. After all, there is a reason why the slogan goes nice guys finish last, not nice guys finish first.
This doesn’t mean she wants an asshole, she simply wants a guy who can stand up for himself, a guy who can protect her and a guy who has social value someone who is active and has more in his life than just her.
The problem with being her best friend is two fold, one she see’s you as someone who will always be there for her. That means that regardless of what she does to you, you’ll be there to comfort and console her no questions asked. This makes you come across as a wimp and someone without any confidence.
Secondly although you’ve established trust and comfort in the relationship that you’ve built with her, it is devoid of any sexual tension. She views your relationship as strictly plutonic and nothing else.
The fact of the matter is, the longer your friendship with her lasts, the more she will see you in this light. It’s what we like to refer to as BFFed. (Best Friend Forevered)
Converting your friend into a girlfriend is labor intensive, it’s going to require a lot of work and a lot of planning but before you make the commitment and the sacrifice you need to consider a few things.
Is my friendship worth risking? I was able to maintain a solid friendship with my friend, but you might not be so lucky. You need to seriously think about the consequences of your decision. If things don’t go according to plan there is the chance that your friendship will be permanently strained or even worse vanquished.
You also need to think about how your decision affects the rest of your friends. Chances are this girl isn’t just your friend, but friends with your other buddies as well. Think about the group dynamics before proceeding.
If you’re serious about making this work then I encourage you to go for it. Nothing is worse than looking back on life and regretting not taking up an opportunity that had presented itself.
If you want to win over your friend, the first step is to forget about them. That’s right you need to forget about the lust you have for friend. As long as you’re a love struck puppy you’ll never have a shot at turning your friendship into romance.
What you need to do is start meeting other women, stop spending all of your free time with your friend and go out and meet other attractive women, make these girls your friends or better yet date them. This shows your friend that women value you and there’s more to you than she had previously perceived.
Next you need to constantly show this newfound skill to your friend. Invite her out with you to a bar or club and then excuse yourself to go hit on a cute blonde sitting one table over. This will almost certainly drive her crazy with jealousy. The always-available rock of a friend isn’t so available any more.
Lastly incorporate some playful flirting and Kino into your friendship. You should find now that her acceptance of you as a romantic partner has increased tenfold. She will be much more open to your sexual advances and more willing to engage in a sexual relationship with you.
The key is to stop pursuing her and get her to pursue you. Now you are the target, the one who is desired and cannot be obtained.
On New Years of this year I was out a club with a group of buddies when I happened to run in to my friend that I had a crush on so many years ago. She knows what I do for a living and she hears stories of my adventures with women. She looks at me differently now, playfully hugging and touching me whenever she can.
On this night she greeted me with a huge hug and playfully bit my neck. We had a few drinks before she pulled me into a quiet corner in the back of the club.
“How come you never call me anymore,” she said in a half whine. “I really love you you know, I’m better than any of the girls that you pick up. What do they have over me?”
I grinned and I laughed, if this was eight years ago I would have jumped at the opportunity to take her up on her offer. But that ship has sailed, I’m no longer attracted to her and have more than my share of 9’s and 10’s to choose from. It’s not a knock on my friend, she’s a great person and very beautiful, but there’s just a certain empowerment you feel when you achieve the unattainable, more often than not you don’t want it anymore.
You may find that after going out and meeting other girls your friend no longer interests you. That’s fine it happens, we’re men and sometimes our sights are blinded by the most attractive girl in their line of vision. Keep this in mind and give other girls a chance you never know, you just might find that what you want and what you perceive you want are two very different things.
One of the most important aspects of any relationship is good communication. Without it the relationship will whither and wilt like a flower devoid of water. The art of communication seems almost common sense to some people, but for others communicating especially with members of the opposite sex can be frustrating and intimidating.
Before I learned calibration and acclimatized myself to being surrounded with good-looking women, I too struggled to maintain interesting and exciting conversation. Most of my subject topics revolved around work or the weather or if I felt really adventurous the weather on my way to work.
I remember one fateful date that I went on almost 2 years ago. I had just broken up with my girlfriend at the time and I was desperate to get back out into the world of dating. I managed to find my way onto an online dating site and was lucky enough to arrange a date with a stunning little brunette who was really into playing and listening to jazz music.
I myself had been attending jazz bars for the better part of the previous year. A natural fit I thought, we should have a lot to talk about or so I thought.
The date got off to a good start, we met up for dinner at a local Middle Eastern restaurant that a friend of mine happened to own. We chatted about our love of Jazz, how she became a jazz musician and our favorite jazz hangouts around town. After that the conversation hit the wall.
The rest of the night was filled with awkward silence with both of us straining to fill the void of speech. This went on for another 2 hours until we said our insincere goodbyes and went our separate ways. I’ve never seen this girl again and in fact I don’t even recall her name.
For days after the date I wondered to myself just what exactly had gone wrong. We had a great time for the first 45 minutes or so and then things started to go wrong. Looking back on the event she was genuinely attracted to me, but I ruined it by not conveying any higher value or creating any deep rapport through conversation.
Through a lot of studying and a lot of trial and error, I’ve managed to overcome this gaping hole in my game and have become a communication machine. If you suffer from communication paralysis fear not, here are 3 simple things you can do to keep the conversation moving forward and keep your target’s attention firmly on you.
1.Use conversation topics that invest her emotionally. Think of topics that might bring back fond memories to her such as a vacation or childhood memories with her siblings. By bringing up these memories you create a correlation between fun positive times and yourself. It’s also a great way to show your higher value by sharing your travel and childhood memories as well.
Keep in mind that this works equally with negative emotions as well as positive ones. Avoid topics that might upset her like past boyfriends or her parent’s divorce. At the end of the night the last thing you want to be is that shoulder to cry on.
2.Use playful games to fill voids in the conversation. No matter how well you are at conversing with others, you’re bound to come across a gap in the conversation from time to time. For times like these it’s good to have a couple of games that you can play on hand. One of my favorites is the cube. You can research it online by googling “the cube”. It’s a great way to open up new conversation topics without you coming across as weird and creepy.
3.Women love to dream and they love romantic fairytales. Use this to your advantage by incorporating future adventure projections into your conversation. Future adventure projections are great because they allow you to convey your personality and they give her a glimpse as to what her life with you might be like.
Future adventure projections work like the following:
We should go on a tropical paradise vacation to Brazil. We can lay on the beach while I make us both Pina Coladas, but then you’ll decide that you’d rather have a martini instead but no olive of course because they get stuck in your teeth.
The successful future adventure projection formula looks something like this:
You + Her + Cool Location + Funny story = Future Adventure Projection
Use one of the above or all 3 of them in your conversation to keep the communication flowing. Remember that these are just starting points and within time your game will evolve beyond them. The more you practice conversing with people, the better you’ll become at it.
Last night I found myself at a quaint rustic tavern know as a beer haven to young and enlightening University students throughout this vast city we call Toronto. The time on my watch read 7:30pm and I was just in time to join the rowdy masses in partaking in a weekly ritual we Canadians like to call the hockey game.
For me the game held little meaning, I was here for one reason and one reason alone, to meet and greet with some sexy grad students. There are few things that are guaranteed in life, but encountering hot blonde numbers at the Madison during a hockey game was one of them.
I took my seat by the bar and ordered a drink. The waitress flashed me an innocent yet mischievous smile as I ordered a pitcher of stout, immediately I knew the game was afoot.
The waitress wasn’t overtly attractive; she stood approximately 5 and half feet with free flowing blonde hair. Her eyes twinkled in the mood lighting behind the bar and her aura emitted an art student vibe.
On any other night I would have dived into light conversion and DHV routines. I would have amazed her with creative stories and created a deep connection making her long for more interaction with me. On this night though, it was not to be.
Halfway through my first sip of beer I felt a hard and stinging slap on my back. This could only mean two things, one my night of sarging had just been replaced with a night of paling around, or two someone was about to get their ass kicked.
Luckily for the person slapping me on the back it was the sooner rather than the later. As it turns out it was my good friend from high school and college for that matter. We’d roomed together throughout my early twenties, throughout the years though we had kind of drifted apart and this was my first time seeing him in quite some time.
We exchanged pleasantries and started going through the routine questions, how are you? what have you been up to?, where you living these days?. I still had not quite forgotten about the cute blonde who I had just been distracted from. So with all the trivial and monotonous conversation going on I decided to break the doldrums. Have you ever heard of the game I asked?
As chance would have it, he did. In fact he had recently stumbled on to Neil Straus’ “The Game” and was eager to try out his newly acquired knowledge. I laughed and grinned, it was time to give my new wingman his wings.
To be continued…..
Last week I was able to live out a fantasy that most men only dream of. I was down in LA at a conference and on the last day of the show I ran into an old friend of mine. I hadn’t seen him in quite some time so we spent an hour or so catching up over drinks in the hotel bar. He asked me what I was doing later in the night. Unfortunately my plans had been cancelled at the last minute so he graciously invited me to a party he was attending later on in the night.
He hurried off to his room and reappeared within 10 minutes with a gold bracelet in hand. I asked just what kind of party it was. He replied “it’s a party at the mansion.”
Now in my mind there can be no better party than a mansion stocked full of 300 gorgeous playmates dressed in nothing but body paint. I was game, so I retired to my room to change and get ready for the night that lied ahead.
The bus leaving for the mansion pulled up at quarter to 7 and we jumped onboard for our trek. An hour later we had arrived. There were gorgeous women everywhere and when I say everywhere, I do mean everywhere. Not only were there tons of girls to go around, but all of them were HB8’s or better.
I was overwhelmed, so I headed off to the bar to grab a drink. On my way outside a gorgeous brunette stopped me and asked for a smoke. I responded, “Only if you come smoke it with me.” So the game was afoot. The girl and her friend joined me and my friend outside. Before long I had isolated and we set off for the grotto.
We talked about how she made it into playboy and where she was from. Then I turned it up a notch. I brought out the cube and nailed her dead on. “I’m going to go grab a drink, come with me” I said. So we headed inside and I grabbed a drink. We then sat down on a couch where I offered to give her a foot message. She crawled up in my lap and before long I had my arm around her and her head on my shoulder. I went in for the kiss close and she was sold.
We stayed there for the rest of the night until the lights came up at 2. I grabbed her number and headed back to the hotel quite proud of myself.
It just goes to show you that no matter how hot they are, the secrets of attraction work all of the time. And just to add a little social proof, here’s a shot of me at the mansion with some of the gorgeous girls that I met.
Sarging at the PlayBoy Mansion
You know, I take a lot of flack sometimes from friends about the amount of knowledge I have about topics that most would consider feminine. I’m a firm believer that there are three things in this world that every man should be up to date on: Sex in the City, the movie The Notebook and the complete musical collections of John Mayer. As soon as you mention any of the above you can almost instantly see a girl’s face light up.
When I met Tara earlier this year, we had this exact same conversation. She graciously however added a 4th item to the list, astrology. Now I know what you’re thinking, we’ve all seen our daily horoscope in the paper and 9 times out of 10 it’s usually generic bullshit that could be applied to anybody’s life. But you cannot imagine just how much women eat it up.
I’ll give you an example. I was out at a local pub on Saturday night and while hanging around out front I was approached by two gorgeous women in their mid-late twenties asking for a lighter. We struck up a conversation about astrology and she inquired about my sign. We proceeded to have a 10 minute conversation about the dual personalities of Gemini’s and their compatibility with Libra’s.
Not only was she enthused, but she was genuinely hanging off every word that was coming out of my mouth. If it wasn’t for the girl that I was with coming over and interrupting the conversation I’m sure it could have gone on for hours.
Now I could have easily closed this girl just based on my astrological knowledge alone. There’s no feeling quite like having a set of hot girls literally eating out of the palm of your hand.
So what am I getting at here? You need to know your chick crack and there’s no better place to start then with astrology. You don’t need to know it in and out for it to be effective, just generalities and let your cold reading skills do the rest. To better your skills in this area I suggest you take a look at our Cold Reading episode, it has some really helpful tips for bettering your game in this field.
Lucky for all of us, there’s a great book that teaches you the fundamentals of astrology and how it relates to relationships. Check it out and start incorporating astrology into your game.
I’m an avid reader, if there’s ever a time when I have no work to do or places to go or people to see I’m content with picking up a book and learning a thing or two. I’m like a sponge, I love soaking up new relevant information that can help me in any aspect of my life.
I haven’t always been an active reader though. It actually began about 3 years ago. I had just started a new job and was traveling back and forth on the subway to and from work. In total I was spending about 2 hrs a day in transit, so I decided that instead of spending my time reading advertisements on the train that I would use the time to make improvements to my life.
One of the very first books that I read was a book from Napoleon Hill called Think and Grow Rich. Until this day that book is by far the most influential and inspiring book that I’ve ever had the privilege of reading.
The book was written in the earlier 1900’s and recounts conversations had between the author and many established and powerful business men of that era. Everyone from Thomas Edison to Henry Ford is in the book and each man’s story is unique in its own right.
However, there’s one thing that all of these men had in common. Now, I’m not one to spoil a secret or to ruin a book, but let’s just say it’s the one determining factor that lead to riches and success for each of them.
Why am I telling you all this you ask, and how does this relate to game you ask? The secret of this book is universal, you can apply it to achieving success in any aspect of your life including attracting women!
Even if you’re not an avid reader you still should go out and pick up a copy. It inspired me to change and look where I am today!
Think and Grow Rich: The Landmark Bestseller–Now Revised and Updated for the 21st Century
The Phone That's as Stylish as You Are
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had a cellphone. I can remember vividly the first one I purchased, it was a Samsung SCH3500 and boy did my friends love it. I was about 13 years old at the time and I was the very first person I knew to have an elusive cell phone.
My friends would constantly borrow it, pretending it was their own and any chance I could get I’d pull that phone out of my pocket just to show anyone I could how cool I was.
As time went on, my cellphone became old and outdated. All of my friends got cellphones of their own and since then cell phones themselves have become much more popular.
Over the years I’ve had plenty of cell phones but none as cool as my Samsung, that is until now.
About a month ago I rushed out to my local cell phone store and picked up a shiny brand new Iphone. Since that day I’ve been unable to put it down. The name Iphone is misleading to say the least. Why you ask? Because it is so much more versatile than any other phone on the market.
On a car ride to work I can play music in my car through an FM transmitter, I can check sports scores from the night before, I can text message my friends and even plot my route on a built in GPS navigation unit.
The great thing about the Iphone too is that it has so many third party applications that have been made for it. One of my personal favorites is the harmonica application. Simply but the Iphone to your lips and voila instant harmonica, it makes for a great ice breaker and it’s gotten a laugh or look of astonishment any time I’ve used it.
The Iphone I purchased has 16GB of storage space, more than large enough to fit a large archive of music, and the battery life on it although less than some phones, still gives me 24 hrs of use before it has to recharge.
Another great thing about the Iphone is how easily it syncs with your computer. Just load itunes onto your mission plug in your phone via USB and within minutes your phone is automatically synced with your media, your contacts, your calendar and even your mail. It’s great for people on the go!
So while you’re out there picking up your game and improving your style, don’t forget to upgrade your phone while you’re at it. It’s honestly one of the best investments I’ve made in awhile.
I’ve always been a fairly small guy in comparison to most. For most of my teenage years I was blessed/cursed with a high metabolism. Although it would allow me to eat pretty much anything I desired it also proved a substantial challenge for putting on and maintaining weight.
In the past I tried several times to bulk up but nothing seemed too successful. My latest effort started several months back late at night while watching an infomercial for a product called P90x. The infomercial was griping to say the least and the next day I found myself online ordering the product.
Since its arrival I’ve been eating more healthily, exercising daily and I’m actually seeing some rapid weight gain. Almost 15 lbs to be exact. I’m now up to 173lbs and hope to add another 7lb before it’s all said and done.
I can’t tell you how great it feels to finally fill out my clothes and improve my overall physic.
So far I’m into day 21 of my 90 Day program. I’ll post some updated pictures of me at the 60 and 90 day marks so you can see the difference it’s made.
Program Synopsis:
Overall the program is not for beginners. I can’t stress this enough. For the first week of the program I was literally wiped each day after the workout!
It’s a daily workout regime (6 days a week if you opt out of StretchX) and each workout is targeted specifically towards one muscle group. The great thing about the product is that it includes a lot of workouts that you wouldn’t normally perform in a regular trip to the gym.
YogaX is by far the most important of these exercises. No matter how much I’m hurting from the back and chest exercises, after completing a set of yoga the pain disappears. It does wonders for your joints and your overall posture.
The program is pretty light when it comes to equipment, free weights and a chin up bar are all that are required, and comes complete with a diet plan geared towards your individual fitness goals. So whether you’re like me and are concerned with gaining weight or whether you want to lose weight, P90x has you covered. The diet plan also comes with a handy cheat sheet so if you’re like me and are constantly on the go there’s a guide for a multitude of fast food restaurants which shows you exactly what you can and cannot eat.
Overall P90x is a great product for anyone wanting to get in shape. Check out their site and if you decided to get on board with the product post in the forums and let everyone know how it worked for you.